Online Dating Is Challenging – How Can You Find a Partner in Real Life?

Posted by Be You Counseling on July 9, 2019

Online dating has become increasingly popular in recent years.

It has also become easier than ever to find someone new to date, thanks to apps that allow you to connect with a wide selection of people from the palm of your hand.

But even though it seems convenient, online dating has its challenges.

Whether you’ve tried it before or you’re thinking about signing up for an online dating site, it’s important to be aware of these challenges before you get started.

What Are the Problems With Online Dating?

The biggest issue that comes with online dating is that it’s risky. You’re learning about someone from a basic profile only, and unfortunately, it’s easy to fabricate information or stretch the truth.

People can do almost anything they want in an online dating profile. This includes using fake photos, lying about their career, their age, etc. Getting into any relationship has its risks. But when you’re starting out online, people are presenting their own personal “highlight reel” of their lives, and it isn’t always accurate.

Another issue with online dating is the stigma often attached to it. Thanks to the development of dating apps, many people use this type of dating search as a way to meet someone for sex, rather than for a relationship.

Finally, online dating can actually cause you to become more judgmental. Because so many people are active in the world of online dating, you might be able to sift through hundreds of “matches” selected for you. When you’re given that many options, it’s easy to become too picky and too superficial, and you could be missing out on someone great.

Are There Better Ways to Find a Partner Offline?

If you want to avoid the world of online dating and find someone the “old fashioned way,” there are plenty of unique opportunities to try and utilize for yourself.

For example, keep some of these suggestions in mind if you’re looking for someone to start a relationship with:

  • Join a local singles group with regular events/meetups

  • Attend local events that interest you; it’s likely the people there will share those interests

  • Take your dog to the park and interact with other pet owners

  • Join a class (art, dancing, cooking, etc.), join a gym/fitness place, or take a walk in the park – people are everywhere

  • Volunteer for a nonprofit organization that’s meaningful to you

One of the best ways to find a partner in your area is to do things you normally do anyway. Proximity is power! By attending events and places that already interest you, you’re one step ahead. It’s easy to come up with a conversation starter when you know you’re both passionate about a particular place, cause, event, etc.

Preparing Yourself for the World of Dating

People who try to date online often find comfort in the security of it. When you’re behind a screen, you might not feel as nervous or worried about how you look or the things you’ll say. Trying to date in real life can feel intimidating, but the reward is well worth the risk.

Use some of these tips to better prepare yourself for meeting someone offline:

  • Don’t rush into anything, even if you feel a connection with a person

  • Set a goal to talk to a certain number of people at an event

  • Keep a mindset of making new friends rather than finding a love interest

  • Show genuine interest in people and ask them questions

  • Don’t worry about being rejected

  • Have fun

Yes, the dating world often comes with a lot of pressure. But there is nothing like a genuine connection that comes from finding a partner in real life.


If you’re struggling with the challenges of dating or want more information, feel free to contact me to set up a free consultation. You can also visit my Relationship Counseling page to learn more. I would love to talk to you about other practical tips and ways you can make offline dating easier on yourself.